Masturbation gives women the
opportunity to explore their body while at the same time giving them a
high degree of sexual freedom. It allows them the opportunity to
experience sexual pleasure without relying on a partner, and to release
sexual tension when they feel the need to.
Masturbation can be a very empowering learning tool for women - it
teaches them about their bodies, and how it responds to sexual
stimulation. Many normal and healthy women only experience orgasm
while masturbating, or find it is their most intense type of orgasm.
Masturbation is the first and most important sexual skill a woman
should learn, as it holds the key to enjoying other forms of sexual
activity. Ideally, this skill is commenced early in life (preferably
prior to the age of five), but far too often it is not learned until a
woman is in her late teens or early twenties. This stems from the
incorrect notion that children are entirely devoid of sexuality and
that they must be protected from its 'evils'. Children, especially
infants, are incredibly curious individuals who will undoubtedly
discover masturbation on their own. A parent, if they discover their
child masturbating, should not chastise them for it, but rather, tell
them about appropriate private and public behaviour.
However, not all women have negative views of masturbation, nor
indeed do all women feel the need to masturbate. The point is that
women are increasingly developing more positive attitudes towards
masturbation and the pleasure it can bring them. If given the
opportunity, women will often discuss their masturbation habits with
pride, without the least amount of guilt.
In spite of the sexual revolution, female masturbation is still
somewhat taboo. Even though popular songs, movies and television make
mention of female masturbation, it is not a common topic of discussion.
People are more likely to make mention of males masturbating than
females. It is a given that males masturbate, but for females, even
though it might be commonly accepted that they do it, they are not
expected to. If a woman does not know that her peers masturbate and
that they presume that she does, she is less likely to do it ... or if
she does, she feels guilty for doing so. Since many women do not
generally talk about it, it is often presumed that they do not
Another common misconception of women is that if they have a
partner, they should not feel the need to masturbate. Or if they are
single, that masturbating would reinforce their single status; in other
words, if they were not single, they would not have to masturbate. So
instead of masturbating, some go in search of a partner. This is not
the best solution and typically results in unfulfilled desires.
Since masturbation is seen as a "solo" activity, some women with
partners do not feel it is appropriate for them to masturbate. If they
have a partner, it is believed that their sexual activities with them
should fulfil all their sexual needs. While a nice ideal, in real life
a lot of women's sexual needs are not met fully by their partner, no
matter how good and loving a partner they have. For women with
partners, it is important that they understand that it is perfectly
healthy and normal for them to masturbate, and they should do so
without feeling guilty. For many women the frequency with which they
masturbate should not change when they go from being single to having a
sexual partner. Some women may find they masturbate even more when they
have a partner, as having a partner makes them feel more sexual, and
increases their desire for sex and sexual pleasure.
While it is certainly untrue, the majority of people believe that
women are less sexual than men. We are led to believe that women think
about sex and desire sex much less. Society creates outcasts of women
who are openly sexual. This results in women believing they should not
have strong sexual feelings and desires. Unfortunately, many women are
ashamed to admit they become ‘horny’. This results in women
introverting and denying their own sexual feelings and desires. While a
woman's desire for sex may change with time as the result of hormonal
influences, they are overall just as sexual as men. If a woman accepts
that she is equally as sexual as a man, she is more likely to feel
comfortable with her desire to masturbate.
The main reason a woman should masturbate is because it feels good.
Women with strong sex drives may masturbate frequently, but a woman
should not forgo masturbating just because she does not have a strong
sex drive. Even if she has no desire for partner sex, she should still
enjoy giving herself pleasure. The fact that pre-adolescent girls
masturbate proves that hormonally induced sex drives are not the only
reason to masturbate; young girls do it for no other reason than it
feels good. There is nothing wrong with a woman giving herself pleasure
on a daily basis, or as often as she desires. For masturbation to be
pleasurable it does not have to end in orgasm. Masturbation may involve
nothing more than placing your hands against your vulva when you go to
sleep at night, simply because it feels good.
There are times in all relationships when a partner is not available
for sex when you desire it, even when they sleep beside you. Couples
frequently have different levels of sex drive, and expectations
regarding physical intimacy. This is why women frequently masturbate
secretively in the shower, or masturbate silently in the early morning
hours while their sleeping partner lies beside them. Masturbating when
you have a partner is normal and a woman should not feel ashamed for
doing so. Most women have probably done it at some point in their
relationship. It is often a necessity. Forgoing masturbation and sexual
pleasure when you need it simply because you have a partner does harm
to you and your relationship, because you will slowly begin to blame
them for your sexual frustration. As your sexual frustration grows, so
does your frustration with the relationship.
If a woman does not know how to sexually satisfy herself, then how
can she expect her partner to know? Learning about her own body, how it
responds and then teaching this to her partner is a great way to ensure
that she gets the most out of her whole sexual experience. Don’t be shy
ladies … share that knowledge and you will never regret it!
Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. Common
methods are, massaging of the clitoris with hands and fingers, rubbing
the vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals and
furniture, etc. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the
masturbation practices of women, but vaginal penetration during
masturbation is by no means unusual or uncommon. Some women employ anal
and/or nipple stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal
It is important to understand that there is no "correct" or "right"
way to masturbate. Some women feel they should be able to masturbate to
orgasm using a different or more correct method because they hear other
women do it that way. It is important to keep in mind that each woman's
anatomy is slightly different and her psychological makeup is quite
different. This results in every woman masturbating differently, even
if they use the same basic technique. While some women can masturbate
to orgasm employing several different techniques, others find they can
reach orgasm only when they use the same method each time. There is
nothing wrong with this. Due to conditioning and the differences in
women's bodies, learning new techniques for some can be difficult. If
you are orgasmic with your current masturbation technique, feel free to
experiment, but do not feel you have to reach orgasm in other ways.
Remember, masturbation is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, no matter
how you do it.
Here are some tips for the beginner - or anyone looking to improve their repertoire:
When you have relaxed your body lie on a bed, or sit in a
comfortable chair, and explore your nude or semi-nude body. Run your
fingers and hands across your body. Explore your breasts and play with
your nipples; caress your legs and thighs. Cup your vulva in your hand
and gently rub in small circles. Stimulate your body, but do not try to
reach orgasm. Make yourself feel good. If you feel yourself get tense,
stop what you are doing, breath deeply and relax. Do this exercise as
often as possible, but for no longer than 20 minutes per session. Do
not tire or stress yourself out. The point of this exercise is to make
you feel good while staying relaxed, not to have an orgasm. You want to
feel a little aroused, but at peace - not compelled to go further.
After you become comfortable exploring and touching your body you
will want to try more direct means of stimulating your vulva. Slip your
fingers between the folds of your vulva and massage and play with your
inner labia, perhaps pulling on them lightly or firmly. Slip your
fingers up to the top of your vulva and place them on top of your
clitoris. Gently move your fingers up and down, around, and perhaps
even wildly jiggle them. Make the loose tissue covering your clitoris
slide across the body and glans of your clitoris. If you feel a need to
be filled, insert a finger or two into your vagina. You want to make
yourself feel really good, but you do not want to intentionally try to
have an orgasm. If an orgasm occurs, you want it to be a total
surprise. If you are thinking about having an orgasm, you need to slow
down, relax, and redirect your thoughts. You do not want your brain to
know you are about to have an orgasm.
You may not experience orgasm the first few times, so do not try to.
Just enjoy the pleasures of touching yourself. If you get to a point
where you suddenly find your body is super-tense, you are trying too
hard. Try to enjoy yourself, not orgasm. You want to surprise yourself
with an orgasm. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot
get there, you are probably trying too hard; you cannot force your body
to have an orgasm. The more you concentrate on trying to have an
orgasm, the less likely you are to have one.
Using your hands and fingers, stimulate (rub, stroke, pinch, etc)
the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some
find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer
stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others prefer to have a layer
of clothing or some other fabric between the hand and clitoris. Try it
both ways and see what works best for you.
Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-spot
and offers a feeling of fullness in the vagina. You can locate your
G-spot with your fingers, but it's difficult to provide adequate
stimulation through manual masturbation. Women who enjoy stimulation of
the G-spot usually employ sexual toys to make it easier and more
Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation, though many
women also use them for vaginal or anal stimulation. They also may be
combined with other toys and used in any number of positions. A good,
discrete alternative to a vibrator for clitoral or anal stimulation is
a massage wand. However, massage wands cannot be used for vaginal or
anal penetration. To check out a wide selection of sex toys, please see
our Sex Toy Reviews.
Common, Everyday Objects
Rub your clitoris against any soft, non-abrasive object (e.g., a
pillow, the corner of a couch, etc.) and see if you enjoy the
stimulation it provides.
A detachable shower-head can be quite scintillating for just about
any woman. The best shower available is the ones with the versatile
control that switches the water from a steady stream to a pulsating jet
spray. In hot tubs, avoid sending strong streams of water into the
vagina; in extreme cases this can cause fatal air embolism!
Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex
Try Play O ... it is an unscented gel to be applied to the
cllitoris and surrounding area. It uses a combination of ingredients
designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring intense orgasms. We
rated it a 8.5/10! Click here to check out our detailed review.
In closing, there is no right way to masturbate and there is no
specific number of times you should do it per week. As long as you feel
comfortable with the frequency at which you masturbate and the pleasure
it provides you, then keep on doing it. Masturbation is normal and
should be pleasurable, so find out what you like the best and then show
your partner, if you have one, how they can help please you properly.